When fights before the wedding are good
April 5th 2008 16:11
Do you fight? How often? How do you argue? It is important to know how you and your partner manage conflict.
During one of those pre-wedding talks with our minister, he asked my fiance and I, "Do you fight?"
We hardly did, actually. And so we told him just that. And he told us we had to fight. We had to see what the other is like when s/he is angry. Do we shout? Do we hit each other? Do we keep emotions to ourselves? Do we throw things? Do we hurl hurtful words? Do we sit down and discuss it calmly?
How does each one of you deal with conflict? And how do you deal with it together?
Sound questions from him actually. Marriage has its share of bad fights -- that is to be expected. You'll be committing yourself to this one person for the rest of your life. It won't hurt to see how your partner is when s/he's angry. (And it shouldn't hurt, anyway).
Anger can bring out the worst in a person. If you're able to temper your anger in a way that works for both of you, well and good. You will both benefit from it. No boxing gloves needed.
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